RokScroller, RokStories, self improvement — July 8, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Falling Down and Getting Up


Back in January, I drafted the first post for superhumanist. It is now early August, and that rough draft hasn’t made it out the door. Maybe I wasn’t quite ready for the ideas I wanted to talk about here. But I am now.

Why Now?

In July, I finally reached a low-point in my lifestyle, and knew it was a time for a change. The stress in my current job was causing psoriasis to break out over my whole body, the stress of working late hours was beginning to take its toll on my relationship with my wife, and I wasn’t truly enjoying my time with my daughter as much as I wanted. I worked from home, I was living the dream. So what went wrong?

June and July were particularly stressful months for me. I work for a soccer website, and the madness that happens every four years with world cup was every bit as hectic as you would imagine.

There were also changes in company management style that led to less time flexibility, and therefore, I invested less time in myself. I was no longer taking morning walks with my dog and my daughter (a peaceful ritual I used to enjoy every morning at about 10:30 am) and was no longer jogging or going to the gym. I wan’t even enjoying my audiobooks or podcasts. Something had to change. SO I changed my haircut.


The Mohawk


It seems like a passive aggressive way to demonstrate change, and it may not be the mot manly statement I’ve ever made, but every time I’ve felt my life needed a change, I changed my hair first.

I had long hair as a senior in highschool and later in college. After spending a night in jail (it was a mistake, all charges were dropped) I shaved my head a few weeks later (not bald, but down to a #2). When I broke up with my girlfriend of two years, I got a regulate haircut (different lengths, longer on top, something I couldn’t do myself with a wahl clipper in the bathroom). Shortly after meeting my wife, I got highlights. (I have, in that same span of time gone through a few different kinds of facial hair which I will spare you). Each time, I feel the change made a statement.

This time, my statement would be, “I make my own rules.” So I got a mohawk. Its not Mr. T crazy, I don’t shave the sides with a razor. but the hawk is pretty noticeable. and it something a web developer father and husband in his thirties wouldn’t normally have. Its just a simple reminder every morning when I look in the mirror and brush my teeth. “I make my own rules.”

I have since renegotiated expectations at work, and am working on further renegotiating how things are done at work. I have secured contracts for other streams of income, and am working on researching new business ideas.

I am working to re-invent my life and renegotiate the terms on which everything in my life is done. I want to write it down, so that other people in the same situation, stressing and not enjoying the short life they have here can learn, take notes and follow my examples, and learn from my mistakes.

I want us to do this together.

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